New Jersey beautification project

Ah, the tall, majestic pine trees of central New Jersey. You can almost smell…hey. Waitaminute. That’s no pine tree!


It’s hard to tell from this photo (it’s from my cell phone) but that’s not a tree. It’s a cell phone relay tower. We were in one of the more tony neighborhoods of New Jersey and the people who live in big houses that are situated on big plots of land care a lot about the aesthetics of their community. They don’t want any ugly-ass cell phone towers littering their beautiful landscape. But, of course, they need cell phone service. Can you imagine life without it?

So the cell phone providers came up with this fantastic idea. They disguise the cell phone towers as pine trees. Call me cynical but they’re not fooling me one bit. I wonder if the birds are duped and build nests in them?

If you click on this you can see some of the white antennas sticking up out of the branches. Do they have these things in your community?


14 thoughts on “New Jersey beautification project

  1. Hahaha! Yes, we have one of these beauties planted not more than a mile from our home in the lovely burbs of Atlanta. We also have ugly billboards and sagging power lines and rotting, vacant strip shopping centers, but at least someone is standing up for aesthetics around here.

  2. That is one ugly ass motherfucking tree. Humans are so superficial, shallow and stupid.Doesn’t it just make you want to park a super jammer underneath it? It does to me.BTW: The post from today that you took down? I hadn’t heard that news item, but I agree with your assessment. 100%. Sometimes I wonder where they’re keeping all the neutron bombs. Seems like a few of those would solve a lot of problems. And preserve the oil.Did I say that out loud? Talk about yer bad karma, eh?

  3. that’s not fooling anyone. and even though i’m not a bird, it makes me want to make a big ol’ poo on it…we have one in the local area that was modified to include a metallic ring of 3 F-16’s flying in formation up the tower, in honor of a local air force base. nice touch, but it’s still fuuuugly…

  4. Over here the Catlick church has sold its soul to the various communication companies, and have taken to hiding the masts inside of bell towers and church steeples.You can still hear the voice of God…. only now you can text him back while you’re waiting in line for confession.Blss me fthr 4 I av sind

  5. Lori: Well, they had to take a stand somewhere and I suppose cell phone relay towers is as good a place as any.Rob: I took that post down. It was bumming me out every time I saw it. It really is hopeless over there.Daisy: A+ for their efforts but F for their results. [On a side note, T minus 14 days. What the hell does T minus mean, anyway?]Jimmy: The “Catlick” church (LOL) is expert at selling it’s soul. Nothing new there.Sid: Who’d have thunk that central New Jersey and Cape Town would ever have anything in common.Jo: That’s their best effort! Fugly, isn’t it?

  6. like plastic shutters screwed to the wall of a house…..we like to play PRETEND rather than take the time and effort to make them intrinsically beautiful……

  7. I remember the first time we drove to see you….they are everywhere along the highway. What the hell couldn’t they find a better way to spend all that NJ toll cash.MT

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