Reason #857 why you should be glad you don’t live in New York City

All I wanted to do was see a damn movie. The theaters in Times Square are convenient and have big, whopping screens. The kind that give you a headache if you sit too close. But there’s this:


That’s right. It’s $13 friggin’ bucks to see a movie out here! And if it’s in 3-D, you have to kick in another $5-$7 on top of that! A small soda and a small popcorn set me back $9.50. I asked for the child’s portion and it was STILL enough for two adults. It felt like one of those old-time Times Square scam job. Like a legal Three-Card Monte game.

* * *

After the film, (Inception. Quite good.) I walked through Times Square. There was troop of Boy Scouts who had set up tents along a cordoned off strip of Broadway near 47th Street. They were on a camping trip. They were sleeping overnight in the street! For real!


This is crazy. All it would take is one out of control taxi and it’d be instant carnage. And besides, there are nice, comfortable hotels just steps away. This is the most stark evidence of how far this town has come since I first got here. If the Boy Scouts had tried this stunt when I got here, they’d have had to fight off the transvestites for their uniforms and the bums living in Bryant Park for the tents.


Boy, I hate camping. The closest I ever get to “roughing it” is wearing socks that have holes in them. I work my ass off. I don’t sleep in tents, thank you.

21 thoughts on “Reason #857 why you should be glad you don’t live in New York City

  1. Boy, I hate camping. The closest I ever get to “roughing it” is wearing socks that have holes in them. I work my ass off. I don’t sleep in tents, thank you.+That part cracked me up. You summed up my feelings about camping quite well.

  2. I despise camping with the very essence of my being but if it’s NYC, Times Square and all my buddies are there – I’m in. Hell to the yes. Let’s pitch a tent and be first in line to get theater tickets in the morning.

  3. Boy Scouts camping in NYC? Huh? I mean, what is the point? Boy Scouts are supposed to test their nerve in cow=patted fields, cook(or not) sausages over twig flames, lech after Girl Guides. All of this in the country. Sheese! I feel old sometimes!Dinah at MIT

  4. haha…. Kyk’s comments always crack me up!Can’t you become a member of your favourite cinema chain? I’ve got memberships with Dendy and Palace over here and the tickets are waaaay cheaper plus they give you freebies from time to timeAnd I never buy popcorn or drinks, just smuggle in my own chocolate…

  5. Moxy: The other line I’ve always used is, “The closest I ever get to roughing it is drinking a cup of coffee that’s gone cold.”Zen: My feelings exactly. I would totally sleep overnight on Broadway. Who wouldn’t?! I wonder where they used a bathroom?MIT: What the hell kind of badge would you earn for sleeping in the street? There were lots of police nearby, BTW.kykn: A play is even worse! Some tix run over $100 per. How does a guy take his family out?Nurse: His comments are the best. He’s got ninja commenting skills. I’ve never heard of movie theaters offering a membership. I’m not sure it’s something that has caught on here yet. Do you remember if they had it when you were living in NYC?

  6. I’m with you on camping. My minimum requirements for a nights stay are AC and a toilet. And a shower – with a good shower head. And a clean sink with enough room for all my stuff. And a king sized bed – with soft cotton sheets. Maybe a nice down comforter and some cushy pillows. Plus a flat screen TV with HBO. And a nice breakfast in the morning including Colombian coffee. I can rough it otherwise. Just call me Pioneer Woman.

  7. It’s too noisy…. Where’s the sound of crickets to lull you to sleep?I haven’t camped in ages but the last time I did, we had a queensize air mattress! No sleeping on the ground on a little bubble pad for this girl. 😉

  8. I love camping; I even like it when it rains so hard you are woken by the sound, and everything gets damp and there’s nowhere to dry out so you have to build a huge fire and then you burn your socks. I try and do it a couple of times a year: I really appreciate home afterwards. Inception was only quite good? My son can’t stop raving about it (he saw it a week ago with friends) and is taking me to see it tomorrow.

  9. Cat: You left our your required sheet thread count. I’m assuming nothing under 400.Ponita: If you’re going to came you might as well set some standards.ES: I get it appeal. I’m sure it has moments of natural beauty and all that crap. But it just ain’t for me.

  10. It is so expensive to see a movie at a theater. I am impressed that you live where you walk to Times Square to see a movie. Not that I would want to live there but it is still pretty cool to be living there. Glad the movie was good anyway. I don’t know much about that movie other than it is sci-fi with lots of action. Showing the pic of the Boy Scouts and their tents makes it clear that there really were Boy Scouts and tents. Amazing.

  11. Ugh–I’d rather camp on pile of cow shit that on a NY city street. The whole idea just irritates the shit out of me. I’m those little boys know how to navigate the subway, but could they find their way out of the woods?

  12. Movies aren’t much better in Naples, Fl my friend. 3 tickets, 3 drinks, one large popcorn, 2 candies-$62 Now, it was at the very large leather seat theater (which ruined me for all other theaters) but still…Camping is gross enough in the woods. Why do it where dogs pee and people spit???**shudders**

  13. I’m nostalgic about camping but with the scent of grass and the lake close by. Those pavements look so unforgiving and traffic fumes are a poor substitute for fresh air.Re cost of living I suppose it’s always going to cost more in a city.

  14. TB: I don’t live anywhere NEAR Times Square! I am in suburban New Jersey. But the public transportation hubs that take me there all run through Times Square. Hence, it is convenient.Annie: There may be something to that. The Boy Scouts motto is “Be Prepared.” HIF: I saw a local news report on this stunt and I have to say, the kids seemed overjoyed to be there.LG62: I, too, have been spoiled by stadium seating theaters. (That’s what they call them up here.) Now, when I walk into a theater and it doesn’t have a block-long screen, I feel gypped.Pat: I love a nice walk in the woods. I take my daughters to the expansive botanical gardens near my house all the time. But overnight? No, thank you.

  15. Shit. Just calculated the price of your movie. R104. That’s without the popcorn and coke. Without the 3D feature. And here I complain about spending R50 on a movie.Anyway, thinking of checking out Inception soon. Maybe tomorrow. I’ve heard that you need to watch the movie at least twice to understand it.

  16. I saw Greenberg recently (an abomination), and it cost me £11. tells me that’s currently $17.50 spent wishing Ben Stiller would become infinitely more likeable over the course of the movie, but never actually does.

  17. Sid: As good as it is, as much as I enjoyed it, I think it’s a little over-hyped. It’s good but you certainly don’t need to see it twice. Until it’s out on DVD, that is.Pop: I’ve used that theater as well. It attracts a pretty rough crowd, but you’re right, it IS a smaller crowd.Fweng: I was actually looking forward to seeing that. I thought it was suppose to be good? Rats.

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