Tim and Nina Zagat are New York’s premier pretentious idiots. New Yorkers who are pretentious asswipes are so devoid of any self awareness that they don’t realize they sound like pretentious asswipes.
Every Sunday, the New York Times runs a short feature called Sunday Routine. In it, someone tells how they spend their Sunday. The subjects are always fabulously successful and their day usually involves a summer house or a tony restaurant where brunches are preceded by a long wait in line unless you know the owner, which they usually do.
Today’s Sunday Routine featured Tim and Nina Zagat, founders of the wildly successful Zagat restaurant and leisure guides. Basically, they get other people to rate restaurants for them and then publish the results without compensating any of the contributors. Clever. They were interviewed at their weekend getaway home.
It starts off innocently enough. Up at 7:00 to check e-mails and the weather. Then they begin to speak that special language that you only hear in certain segments of New York society.
She: “We have local farms that have eggs, and I like to get these just wonderful local eggs.”
He: “They taste better than any of the ones you get in a big store.”
Don’t you wish you didn’t have to buy your eggs in a big store?
He: “If she does breakfast for friends…there will be wonderful eggs. Wonderful muffins, local muffins.”
Her: “It’s lovely to be at home…to prepare things that are fresh and exciting.”
Are they for real with that wonderful crap? Have you ever eaten a wonderful muffin? Are you a shiny, happy person?* This is why some people hate New Yorkers and I can’t say I blame them. How would you like to be cornered in a party by these two? Given the choice, I’d rather listen to an ex-convict tell me his life story. It’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than these two wonderful dullards.
* I use to like REM’s Shiny Happy People until I heard Alice Cooper make fun of it in an interview. He said, “Are you a shiny, happy person? I’m not.” And he’s right! It sucks!
Best zinger from this past weekend’s batch of movie reviews. This, in reference to the preposterous sudden change from cad to caring father by the character played by Josh Duhamel in the apparently awful Life as We Know It starring the apparently insane Katherine Heigl.
Mr. Duhamel is so good-looking that female viewers may give his character the benefit of the doubt, simply out of wishful thinking.
Best zinger EVER from a move review. This, from A.O. Scott’s review of Mike Myers’ The Love Guru:
“The Love Guru” is downright anti-funny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.