Here are a few of the extraordinary and, in my humble opinion, unnecessary actions that have been taken in preparation for the arrival of Hurricane Irene:
- The southern tip of Manhattan has been evacuated
- The NYC transit system has been completely shut down
- All Broadway and off-Broadway shows have been canceled [a first]
- You can’t drive on the Garden State Parkway south of Exit 98 and beach towns have been evacuated
- The governor of New Jersey has HALTED GAMING in Atlantic City casinos [yet another first and the most offensive item on the list, as far as I’m concerned]
- No gym. No movies. No groceries. No nothin’
You should have seen Port Authority yesterday afternoon. There was a mass exodus. It was like the set of a science fiction film where a plague is coursing through Manhattan. CB said that Manhattan is even more desolate today than it is on December 25th. At least you can go to a movie on Christmas Day. (Although, I told him he could probably still get some egg rolls delivered by a guy on a bicycle.)
I think it’s all a lot of of sturm und drang. The storm seems to be weakening and will probably be a Category 1 by the time it gets here. A friend of mine has a Dominican girlfriend and she can’t stop laughing. She said that back home, they don’t even go indoors until it’s a Category 4. If I’m lucky, the 8-10 inches of rain will drown the moles who have furrowed in my front yard.
In lieu of going anywhere, here’s what’ll go down in the Unbearable household:
That’s right. A Little Rascals film festival. 10 DVDs, 88 episodes. You can’t go wrong (except for the horribly racist parts). In one early episode, Spanky’s father refers to Buckwheat and his younger sister as “the little Pickaninnies.” Now, that’s just wrong. It requires some sensitivity training for The Daughters. Some of it goes right over their heads, thank God. Does anybody remember “I wish Cotton was a monkey”?
I have no back-up plan for entertainment if the electricity goes out. Perhaps I’ll break out my guitar. That always goes over really well.
A tip-o’-the hat and a thank-you to the nice people who have pinged me offline to check up. Glub-glub.