The Canine Whore of New Jersey

This is my UK first edition of The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West. I love this book and this collectible copy is in particularly nice condition. Remember the rule when it comes to collecting: condition is king! The reason this is a UK first is that I cannot afford a U.S. first. The first editions in the author’s home country are always more expensive than the foreign first editions. It’s called following the flag. A decent U.S. first of this title will run you around $2,000. This UK first is probably worth about $300 bucks, give or take a recession.

12photo(1)201401This is the corner of my UK first of Day of the Locust after my swine of a dog, Coco, chewed it. The book is now worthless. It certainly wasn’t one of the most valuable books on my shelf, but I really loved this one and it hurts more than it probably should. Both of my girls went through babyhood without touching any of my collectibles. I turn my back for one second and that stupid mutt tries to make a meal of it. Christ, I hate dogs.

12photo201401So, naturally, I started to look for a heavy, bunt object to smash her over the head with. Can you blame me?! But first, I had to find the little pig. When I turned the corner into the living room, I was confronted with this Hallmark Moment.

dog and daughterI am so stuck with this problem. And since she (the dog) is only 6-months old and she (the daughter) is only 5, I am stuck with this problem for a long, long time. I can feel the punishment but I can’t connect the crime.

*     *     *

It’s all about geometry! Here are a few pics I took from poolside in Las Vegas. The hotel I stayed in was surrounded by new construction and I thought they made for some interesting angles, especially when viewed against a desert sky.

12Photo1%282%291201401I heard some people complaining that looking up and seeing buildings wasn’t very appealing. But the light in Las Vegas is so bloody bright and the daytime desert sky so blue, that I thought it made for some interesting, otherworldly vistas.

12Photo1%281%291201401

Here’s where I stayed. The Cosmopolitan. A beautiful hotel with a stunning view from the balcony. When I come home from vacation, I always suffer a brief period of mourning. Vacations give you a taste of the sweet life, and then you get the knife. My moroseness has been particularly acute this time around. I’m really blue. I’m in such a funk that I gave away tickets to a Broadway show last Friday night (A revival of Harvey starring Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory) simply because I didn’t feel like going. I didn’t care.

cosmoIt’s not difficult to rebound from a trip to Disneyworld or (please forgive me) a trip to Ohio to do the family thing. Both are enjoyable but they’re necessary trips. I had been waiting for years and years to take this Vegas trip and it proved to be as cathartic as I hoped it would be. Winning a big pile of money didn’t hurt, either. Coming back down to earth has been a real problem.

9 thoughts on “The Canine Whore of New Jersey

  1. Yep. Hate dogs, but love the effect they have on the kids.Love books, but honestly, any book that has Homer Simpson as a lead character is lacking in gravitas.Love the pics from Vegas.If you’ve won too much money, feel free to give some to NLHS.

  2. hide the books and anything else of any value (fiscal or sentimental). i had a dog that liked to chew up my used undercrackers. annoying, but no great loss…the post-holiday blues are part of the package. i usually try to start planning my next adventure while flying back from somewhere nice. the key: having something to look forward to…

  3. Unfortunately, you have to dog-proof your house, just like some people have to kid-proof theirs. Some dogs love to chew/eat paper. I had one of those. No wait… he was my ex’s dog. I just lived with him for a while. He chewed books too… and ate the last few pages of one I was reading, forcing me to go to the book store to read the ending!If you don’t catch her chewing on something, you can’t punish her. Dogs live in the moment. She would never understand what it is she’s being punished for if you go and find her and drag her back to the crime scene.Take all your collectibles and put them up high, away from exploring teeth.I’m so sorry she got at your books, but she is a puppy still and won’t truly grow functional brain cells until she’s 2+ years old. That’s just the way dogs are.Lovely photos, by the way. I do so enjoy your snapshots!

  4. TSB: What about cats? What are your politics on felines? They’re the bomb in my book. And I didn’t win TOO much money. Just the right amount. Enough to pay for the trip; not enough to corrupt.daisy: I am somewhat constrained as far as trips are concerned. Hence, da blues. I’m envious of your freedom, but you’ve earned it.Ponita: Welcome back. My dog also eats worms. Loves ’em! And she knows it drives me nuts because she’ll run from me until it’s consumed. Devil. 2+ is a long time. A loooooong time.

  5. The worms won’t hurt her… just another source of protein!If you want her to drop something, you need to give her something better. Like a treat. Or a tasty dog chew toy that she really like. Substitute the toy/chew/treat for whatever it is she’s eating/chewing that you don’t want her to consume. Call her over, or just go near her, get her attention, work on getting her to drop whatever is in her mouth (try saying “drop it” until she spits it out) and then hand her the new thing. She’ll catch on to that quickly. Patience is everything when training a dog to NOT do something. Chasing her is just a game. Dogs love the chase game! So she sees that as you playing with her.Cats are so much easier in a lot of ways… but can be equally destructive in different ways. I have two right now. Lila scratches on the cat tree. Pips uses the living room furniture. It doesn’t matter that I have numerous scratching posts of different types scattered throughout my place. She likes the furniture. They are extremely difficult to train to NOT scratch something they have come to like. Dogs are easier to train to NOT do something if you give them something better in substitution. Cats don’t care. And even if they stop doing it when you are around, you can bet your boots they are still doing whatever it is when you’re not!! Which is why I never see Pips attacking the couch anymore, but it gets more ragged as time goes by.

  6. *sigh**double sigh*and there it is, sugar. the dog ate the book, the daughter loves the dog, they’ll both grow up and leave you alone, so what’s the moral? i have no clue, but i thought you’d appreciate my attempt at dark humor. ;~) xoxoxoxo*glad you won just enough money*

  7. A cat would never do that to a book! They might sit on a newspaper, that you’re currently reading JUST to get your attention. But they’d never eat the damn thing!

  8. Ponita: We took the little darling to an obedience class and the advice we got was exactly what you just said. I should have saved the money and wrote to you instead. I had two Siamese cats for 15 years. I know what little destructos they can be. I still prefer them.sav: I will nurture them all and send them out into the world. I don’t mind. It’s what’s supposed to be.sid: I know! It seems that cat mischief is charming. Dog mischief is just classless, clumsy destruction.

  9. queenwilly has a daschund puppy which has absolutely destroyed their house. Eaten its way through two couches, two lots of bedding, multiple pairs of shoes, bras, underwear, books, magazines. You name it, the Maggie’s chewed it. And she absolutely refuses to be house-trained. Makes me love my Siamese more and more.Sorry about the blues darlin’. It will pass but it’s a bugger to deal with in the here and now isn’t it? xx

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