oh my GOD! you’re EATING MY LEGS! you BASTARDS!

I rank “office hijinks” blogs on the same low rung as “mommy” blogs, but certain things are creeping up that I simply cannot ignore. I’ll keep it to a minimum.

Some people bring cookies and biscuits to work. It’s a nice gesture that lifts everyone’s spirits and provides a sugar jolt.

My Chinese colleague brought in a bag of dried octopus tentacles. She said it’s an Asian delicacy



Somewhere on the bottom of the ocean there’s an octopus in a wheel chair cursing humans.

(Thank you very much. I’m here all week. Please tip your waitress.)

I embarrassed myself by asking her what was written on the bag and she said didn’t know since she is Chinese and the writing is in Japanese. What a dopey White person I am!

For lunch she ordered fried rice with anchovies and chicken. I passed on the octopus tentacles but the fried rice sounds delicious. To me.

16 thoughts on “oh my GOD! you’re EATING MY LEGS! you BASTARDS!

  1. sticking with my principles, i wouldn’t eat them. nothing that looks the way it was when it was alive, thankyouverymuch. i continue to enjoy my meat processed beyond recognition!

  2. Ha ha! Good one.A colleague once brought “treats” back from the middle east (Kuwait).Do you know how hard it is to smile, nod, and “Mmmmmm. Good” with a mouth full of disgusting?

  3. Daisy: Right! I like a nice burger because it doesn’t look much like a cow. Where do you stand on lobsters?SWF: Technically, calamari is squid. So where do you stand on octopus?Rob: I think she was insulted that nobody was interested in tentacles. What did she expect?AFM: The sign is the reason I posted this. It’s great! Mouth in an “O” as if screaming in pain.Sid: I’m sure you are well-loved for the gesture. Nurse: Now that you say so, I wish I had tried them. I am a culinary coward. They just look so weird.

  4. Initially I read, ‘testicles’. I wondered what an octopus testicle would look like. re: your question, had she told you that they were from Japan? If not, your mistake is perfectly acceptable.

  5. adventure is the key. pretend they’re something else…like the inner tube from a bike tire…and chew away. you’ll find it to be very flavorful inner tube bike tire!

  6. The last time I ate something off of the sea bed, I was ill for a week with the galloping trots.These days I stick to organic chicken. So much safer.So what did you bring in?

  7. HIF: Did you kiss him after eating one? Ick.Ellie: It wouldn’t have mattered. I wouldn’t eat a tentacle OR a testicle.Pop: The mascot suggests you have a beer with your tentacles. That or a big glass of urine.SWF: It’s the suction cups, plus they look like worms. K: And to think if you did that in Japan you’d be everyone’s best pal. I wonder what Western food makes them sick to their stomachs.Gnu: I think I’d prefer to eat a bike inner tube. With some salsa. Jimmy: I never thought about it but you’re right! I should bring something in. Let’s see…I’m half Polish so perhaps I can bring a big plate of kielbasa on skewers.Jo: Your comments are like precious jewels or snowflakes and are always welcome here.

Vent Central:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s