I am re-posting this. After reading it, I thought it gave off a terrible stink and sounded bitchy so I deleted it. But Rob liked it and I trust his judgment.
Dear White People:
Please stop using the word “sweet” as a descriptor for things unrelated to taste. Cars, shirts, movies, electronic gadgets etc., are not sweet. Also, please stop inserting “like” into the middle of a sentence where it doesn’t belong. And don’t turn every sentence into a question, as in, “I was, like, calling my sorority sister?”
Dear Black People:
Please stop using the word “situation” to describe your circumstances. It’s time to retire it from your lexicon. Find a different descriptor. Use predicament. It contains the same number of syllables so it’ll be an easy transition. Also, please stop punctuating your sentences with, “ya know what I’m sayin’.” We know what you’re saying.