home again. i like to be here when I can.

Last evening was the first time since I started working for A Company Called Malice, Inc. that I got home before The Daughters were sleeping. I read to them for the first time in over a month. What a treat! Nobody has ever been as happy to see me walk into a room as The Daughters. You can see it in their faces. It’s sincere.

I’m sure when they’re angst-filled teens they’ll hate my guts but at this stage of the game, they still run up to me and wrap their arms around my waist (7-Year Old) and leg (3-Year Old) when they see me.

I was a reluctant father and had children very late in the game. I still believe that my life would have been just as satisfying if I hadn’t had them. I would have been one of those crusty old New Yorkers who everyone wants dead so they can have my apartment. That would have been fine with me.

But I have to admit; the attention they lavish on me is deeply satisfying. It’s a foreign sensation, as I never felt that way about my own father. As soon as I was old enough, I made damn sure I was out of the house when he got home from work. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

12 thoughts on “home again. i like to be here when I can.

  1. similar sentiments regarding children – i adore them, enjoy them, and derive tremendous joy from their very existence. yet can imagine a perfectly satisfactory life on my own…

  2. Nutty: I haven’t received their formal written offer (it’s a process!) but I’ve accepted the position.SA: Actually, except for the hours it’s a GREAT job! Where’ve you been?Daisy: Those who want kids had better be ready to have their freedom snatched away (if you’re going to be a halfway decent parent, that is). It’s why I waited so long.Jo: If I had had kids when I was in my 20s it most certainly would have crashed and burned.Ellie: You can work your way up the evolutionary ladder.Annie: It’s not a sentiment many people like to voice but I think we all feel it.

  3. keep the warm and fuzzy feelings from yesterday with you till they pass through teen-dom. Trust me, if me as a teenager was any indication, you’re gonna need it.

  4. I don’t know. I still love running up to my dad and wrapping my arms around him. So if your daughters do end up hating your guts during their teenage years maybe, just maybe it won’t last forever?

  5. I never really wanted kids, so when I had them, I felt the same way you did for a long time. Glad I had them, but I could have been just as happy without them. Now that they’ve been around so long (17 & 14), I have come to realize my life would have been pretty empty without them.And the teen years have been great for me. Not without some issues, but I love them at this age. My husband has had a really hard time, though. He’s the one who wanted to have kids, and I think he is having a very hard time letting them go.

  6. Isn’t that just awesome, that look? I love picking up my boy from day care. He barrels at me full speed and just jumps into my arms. Nothing, NOTHING better than that.

  7. great post. Ugh. I want that. I do remember feeling that way with my parents, but then it´s so radically different from how I felt as a teen, just repulsed.

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