I thought that New York City had the most fashion forward women on the planet. So what the hell is this?


I was walking behind her down 41st Street just off 7th Avenue. (Fashion Avenue.) You know what these are, don’t you? These are a pair of clown pants.

Oh, excuse me. I mean MC Hammer pants.


Are these back? Do you know what, ladies? They looked silly in 1990 and the passage of time has not improved them.

The older I get the more I realize that nothing in the fashion industry is all that revolutionary. They just recycle whatever was popular from the previous generation. The width of neckties and jacket lapels expand and contract on a scheduled basis.

Which brings us to this.


[CB, you might want to bail out at this point.]

Bryant Park…my park where I spend my mornings…has been closed off and invaded by the fashion glamoratti. It’s fashion week here in New York. It’s an important industry that pumps loads of cash into the city coffers but, personally, I don’t understand high fashion one bit. It’s an industry that preys on the vain and the insecure. If you need to spend $1,400 on a pair of shoes, you’ve probably got some self-esteem issues you need to address. You should take that money and spend it on a proper therapist.

I want my park back.


11 thoughts on “HAMMERTIME! redux

  1. Black suit for gigs.Tee shirt and jeans all other times.I do have a wife and three daughters though, so I can’t escape fashion.(But I AM colour blind, which helps!)They took your park?Bastards!Map.

  2. Daisy: I agree. It’s always safe to go with the complete absence of color.AFM: That’s a good point. If I ever bump into her again, I’ll ask if she’s stuck in a time warp.Sid: You should see what they spend on bags out here! It’s actually sinful.Map: They confiscate my park every year at this time for the same reason, which is to say, no good reason at all.

  3. Good spot! And fast with the camera!I love my company because I can wear pretty much whatever I want … unless I’m going to see the customer … and that’s when I get all insecure and pull out my £1,400 shoes. (Right.)

  4. I don’t get fashion. Never have, never will. Clothing is simply functional. Keeps the wind and rain off yer pubes and yer dick from slappin’ yer knees.The people that part with their hard earned wages on that crap? Well, as PT Barnum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”Do you need me to sign a petition or something to get your park back?Maybe you could bring a megaphone and chant “No Public Option”. I hear it goes well with a picture of Obama morphed into either the Joker or Hitler. 😛

  5. They are called “parachute pants” and I LIKE THEM!!!Of course my emotional attachment comes from the fact that my cousin had them when they came out and I used to love to pull them over my head and walk around like a torso less pair of legs.I was 7.

Vent Central:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s