Tiny Demons

We send The Daughter to CCD. For the uninitiated, CCD is the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. Sounds ominous, doesn’t it? It is. It’s where you send your kids if you’re Catholic but don’t attend a parochial school. It’s religion class. I attended when I was a kid and I turned out okay. (Didn’t I?)

I think it’s good that Mrs. Wife takes them to church and gives them a spiritual foundation. Later on, when they get older, they can make up their own minds as to whether they want to continue to embrace church teachings or do as I did and reject Catholicism. I predict that they will become, what I refer to as, Chinese menu Catholics. About 90% of Catholics are Chinese menu Catholics. My mom was one. You pick and choose which aspects of church doctrine you are comfortable with, but reject the silly stuff. Most Catholics don’t feel that birth control is a sin. Divorcees stand in line for communion. For many years, you weren’t supposed to eat meat on Friday, but so many people ignored that one that *presto!* it’s no longer a sin. I believe that most Catholics would love to see women enter the priesthood. I would.

I was surprised to discover that The Daughter’s CCD class was taught by a student from the local Catholic high school. I was always taught by either nuns or parents. I think my mom even taught classes for a while. It seemed to me that leaving some poor high school girl to the tender mercies of a room full of 9-year olds was unfair but, apparently, she’s a whiz with kids and it works.

You know what happens when there’s a substitute teacher, right? Bedlam! Except that this evening, it wasn’t the students who rioted. Their usual beloved teacher was out sick so she was replaced by two mean girls from the Catholic high school. They proceeded to tear the class apart. They made fun of one kid’s name and told some poor girl she was a nerd. They immediately spotted the class hellion, a kindred spirit, and bonded with him. He performed a profanity-laced rap song which the girls recorded on their phones. It’s probably up on YouTube right now. It’s the first time The Daughter heard the word “fuck” so now THAT cat’s out of the bag. After his rapping, he told my daughter’s friend that he was going to “…put my foot up your ass.” Nine years old! It was about as far away from the teachings of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John as you can get.

The next morning, Mrs. Wife wrote a fantastic, scathing letter to the director of the church and CCD program. Apparently, they were deluged with similar letters. As Daughter was relaying this, I got angrier and angrier. I mean, scary angry. Don’t make me elaborate. This sort of thing is going to happen with increasing frequency as she gets older. I’m worried about my self control. Or lack thereof. I’m not a tough guy. I’m liable to get my ass kicked pretty good.

17 thoughts on “Tiny Demons

  1. Oh my friend where do I start? Ya know, I won’t, because if I do I will get so angry I will not sleep! (And I think you already know my views on the Catlick chuch!)Peace pal! :¬)(I kid you not, WV = ‘dizese’¬)

  2. the greatest benefit to the religion classwork? if your kids ever end up on “Jeopardy” and the category is “The Bible” they won’t be skunked. My kids will absolutely screw the pooch if that happens, but will kick ass at “Potent Potables”.Your daughers will be fine. Teaching them that there are assholes in the world – and that they don’t have to BE assholes – is a valuable skill.

  3. So, CCD here means Cafe Coffee Day. Worst coffee ever. But what you said: eeks, scary! Didn’t know about the no-meat Fridays. We do that on Tuesdays when I (remember and) am a good ‘Hindu vegetarian’ child.I want to read that well-deserved fantastic, scathing letter.

  4. Well, I must admit to no small degree of surprise there. I hope my children find their own way through religion and philosophy but I hardly think that the Catholic church has any scrap of credibility left as a safe place in which to leave young children.

  5. Nimpipi: Posting that letter is a great idea! It’s very entertaining. I’ll offer her $10 for it.looby: I have to say, my older daughter seems to really like going to church and church-related activities. That’s why I’d never discourage her from going. Later, it stops working for her, she can bail out. GCB: It looks like all that weed didn’t COMPLETELY erase my memory chips. What a relief.

  6. *what map said* ;)i’d love to read the letter, sugar! and a well done to The Daughter, as well! by the by, it’s a good thing when both parents are upset and one writes a scathing letter. sort of balances out everything and keeps someone (usually dad) from getting bruised knuckles, so to speak. xoxoxoxo

  7. CCD was “Central City Dump” for us growing up. What child can remember the word confraternity?! If I’d known that was the official name when I was 9, I’d have thought that it was a fraternity made up of con artists.

  8. The only problem with separating religious ed from regular ed is that it is treated like a non-class, ie, one that can be ‘taught’ be teenagers! I hope the two ‘mean girls’ have been grouned til they’re 53. Religious ed is an important topic* and could be studied as a ‘world religions’ overview class taught by a qualified teacher as part of curriculum. *So kids can have their light bulb moment, “Oh, so you mean humanity has been shaped by THAT idea? No wonder everyone is becoming Buddhist”…

  9. JZ: CCD was pretty innocent stuff when I was a kid. This is a sorry example. It could and should be taken more seriously. Mitzi: I agree that this is pretty important stuff. I don’t mind the daughters attending but I do mind when it’s treated as a big joke. I’m sure the wrath of the CCD director will fall heavy on their heads, if it hasn’t already.

  10. Good for Mrs Wife. One despairs!I think is is good to allow one’s children access to some sort of spiritual guidance.Sunday School was ideal in my day with Jesus and angels and prayer and goodness – simple concepts but memorable ones.I always think the parents who ignore any kind of spiritual guidance for their children with the ‘They can make up their own minds later on’ are copping out. Just my opinion.

  11. I’m in the boat with Nurse Myra on this.I might view it more kindly ( no guarantee) if it was not such a we(the RC christians) are right and everyone else is wrong.

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