Not all anniversaries today are the weepy kind. “I do” happened for us 14 years ago. Not such a bad ride, right baby? You make me a better man. Okay. As Bukowski advised, scramble two.
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Adieu, summer, adieu. I started the season off with a short video clip of my daughter expertly wrangling a fistful of fireflies. I’ll use the same motif and bookend the season with her on a New Jersey beach.
7-year old daughter: “Dad, do you have a blog?” !?!?! And, a bit later: “Dad, why don’t you go to church?” Jesus! She’s only seven! How the hell does she know about blogs?! What’s she going to ask when she’s 14?!
Exile on Pain Street 
No worries, she will know everything by the time she is fourteen.
Happy Anniversary! It must be difficult to share this date?
Qx
Sharing this date was difficult for the first few years. Especially living out here. But at some point, My Bride and I decided to reclaim it for ourselves. We can’t wallow on our anniversary. It’s not healthy.
It won’t be long before she starts to ask those embarrassing questions we all dread. “Daddy, why can’t white men dance?” “Why does mummy pretend that ladies do not fart?” “Do we have to go to church on Sunday instead of a science fair?” “What are those little blue pills you keep at the back of the medicine cabinet?” …and of course, “But daddy, why do I have to register your shotguns under my name for?”
Happy anniversary oul chap.
Thanks, you ole’ rattlesnake. Here’s the toughest question I’ve been asked so far. And I just related this story in someone’s comment section recently. I was swimming with Daughter the First when she was about four years old. She turned to me, said “I love YOU” and poked me with her index finger right between the legs. She said, “Daddy, what’s that?” It was my chance to be a parent. A mature adult. A guiding light. To say, “That’s daddy’s penis. All men have them. It’s no big deal.” Instead, I stammered, “ammh uhhmm, yamana yamana abbba abba… nothing, dear!” and I swam away. Parent of the Year.
Just wait until the first cocksure rooster turns up at your door and regards you as a small hurdle in the race to evacuate his groin purse.
I heartily recommend the occasional sockdolager to set the mood for those destined to follow him.
OH, my GOD that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! You have poetry in your fingertips. Fortunately, none of that will occure. I’m steering both my girls into gay lifestyles, so as to avoid the filthy cockshure roosters altogether. I’ve had limited success so far but they’re young and my will is strong.
I had to Google sockdolager. A forceful blow. Yes, I’ll have one of those in my pocket just in case the lesbianism fails to take root.
psst… the lesbitarian lifestyle can also lead to heartbreak, turmoil, and exploitation. your best best is to raise them to be independent, high-functioning, smart humans. i think you’re on your way…
What?! They’ll suffer heartaches even if they stay as far away from boys as I want them to? My God, is there no refuge? I don’t suppose I can just lock them up. Can I?
‘What’s she going to ask when she’s 14?!’
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…..ha! You don’t want to know my friend!
(The youngest of my three daughters is now 15, it’s all ahead of you!)
Happy Anniversary again to you and Mrs. C.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……aaaaaaah! :¬)
What??? What’s going to happen?? Is it bad? I predict another sleepless night in my immediate future.
Thanks. Saw your well-wishes on the previous post, too. You’re very thorough.
Happy Anniversary.
Nice to know someone has a special happy reason to remember today. I did pause around 2pm UK time 9am EST and remember that day. Not one (or the few afterwards) I’d ever like to get close to repeating. As I type this, as always happens when I am reminded of that day, I can taste that awful acrid dust that covered Manhattan. It is a taste I will never forget and I think many who were there that day would say the same thing.
Loads of remembrances going on here today, as you could well imagine. They’ve begun teaching it in my kid’s elementary school history classes. The terrorist attack. Not our wedding.
Well, at least you didn’t get married in 2001.
“Daddy, did you have a vasectomy?” is what she’ll ask when she’s 14. Teenage girls want a baby brother to spoil, right?
I can ASSURE you with 100% certainty that there will be no more BABIES in our home. I barely survived the two I have. My advanced years will not tolerate the lifestyle disruption. We got a dog about a year or two ago and that was disruption enough for a lifetime.
When this day rolls around…I think of you and two other long-ago friends who were wed on this day. First and always foremost, I raise my glass to happiness.
Cheers, my friend!
What a lovely sentiment. Thank you. I swear, you people in the southern hemisphere are the nicest anywhere.
Happy anniversary Mr. Fourteen years and you still like each other, that’s pretty good going.
I only have a boy child, but in my experience the questions get less embarrassing as they get older. Once a child reaches 14 it’s you who makes them squirm.
Yup. The two of us can still sit and have a nice chat. That’s something to embrace, methinks. I’m not so much embarrassed by these questions so much as I am taken aback. They arrive without warning.
10 minutes left to get my official happy anniversary wishes in for you and Mrs Wife! we’re raising a glass in your honor here in lalaland, darlings! xoxoxox
Oh hell, dear, I’m not watching the clock. I’ll take a greeting from you any old time. There’s no such thing as late. Thanks.
One of my dearest and most wonderful friends in my whole life, was born on September 11th….And oddly enough, he died on September 12th, one day after his 55th Birthday. We had been true Soul Mates for 35 years….So this date has some very positive memories for me, too—And now, including your Wedding Anniversary! Wishing you many many MANY More happy years, my dear…..And here is hoping lots of good answers come to you as those hard questions begin coming your way…..lol!
55 is kind of young to cash in your chips. I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Thanks for your good wishes. What?! 14 years was easy! What’s everybody complaining about?
Happy Anniversary! You guys must be doing something right :-).
I am absolutely clueless in regards to being both a father and a husband. Whatever success I’ve enjoyed was achieved through dumb luck and conjecture. But, thanks.
happy anniversary! i agree – reclaim it. do not wallow.
i have a good friend who lost his brother on the morning of 9/11/01 to suicide. he had just gotten word of the death of his brother when all hell started to break loose. i send him a note every year. as hard as it is to process such a tragic, unexpected, and deeply personal event, it has to be surreal to endure the anniversary as the nation grieves loudly, publicly, and in many cases grotesquely…
The local channels went down to interview people at the World Trade Center site on 9/11. There were a lot of people who lost family members there. One said they’re sad to see that everyone seems to have moved on. But that’s what you HAVE TO do. I guess it’s easier for me to say. I didn’t lose a brother. But still…moving on is ALWAYS the right prescription and the right thing to do.
Making a man better—yes. There are limits to what you can do on your own. In fact, you can go backwards. Happy anniversary.
Or you can be held back. Just sayin’.
How lucky are you to have a small person to deal with life’s creepy crawlies.
She’s brave that way. I have to pretend it doesn’t bother me.