Stinking rotten happy ketchup face

I was sitting at the counter of a diner reading the New York Times and waiting for my patty melt with bacon. Before my burger was ready, the waiter brought my plate of fries. In addition to the fries, this is what he placed in front of me:


It defies commentary. I didn’t know what his game was but you can bet your ass I kept my eye on him for the remainder of my lunch. Fucking creep.

[EDIT to comments: It’s a joke, people! I don’t think he’s creepy for making a smiley face with ketchup. Jeeze! That sure fell flat. I thought I was being sarcastic and witty. I guess I’m no David Sedaris.]

* * *

Do you like Sam Shepard? Well, if you have the money to do so, starting next month at the Atlantic Theater, you can see Ages of the Moon, the U.S. premier of the new Sam Shepard comedy/drama starring Stephen Rea and Seán McGinley. It played at the Abbey Theater in Dublin to superb reviews and a sold out run.


You can see a revival of Sam Shepard’s A Lie of the Mind directed by Ethan Hawke and starring Laurie Metcalf, Josh Hamilton and Keith Carradine.

If you have the money. Shit.

19 thoughts on “Stinking rotten happy ketchup face

  1. what? you think that’s creepy? i think it’s charming! anyone who makes food faces is a bit of alright in my book… who put the crabbies in your wheaties, mr banishment?

  2. I have to come down on the side of creepy for the ketchup face. Firmly on that side, lol.I went to school with one of those actors, and had an enormous gigantic crush. I won’t say which one though in the interests of propriety.

  3. oh my goodness, don’t tell my girlfriend – she loves Sam & I’d be trying to scrounge up the $ for a trip to new york. I’m sure it would be completely lovely, just not in the budget.also glad to know you were kidding about the smile made out of ketchup. it’s nice.

  4. Jimmy: They do that here in New York, as well! It’s sacrilege.Gnu: Contrary to my sarcasm, I actually thought it was pretty funny. It gave me a smile, which was its intent.Savannah: You haven’t been in the south too long. My scribbling is too vague.Point: Shepard is known mainly for his acting roles and being married to Jessica Lange, but he’s a hell of a playwright.

  5. I saw one of the first previews of the original production of Lie of the mind. Geraldine Page (who later taught me to fly … one of my favorite dreams), Amanda Plummer, Harvey Keitel, Aiden Quinn, Will Patton, etc .. in the mid-80s, long before I lived in NY. Fanstastic, but it lasted over 4 hours.Sam and Jessica were two rows behind me, he was furiously scribbling notes and I was wishing he served dinner with the show. Many cuts were made, but to see all those people on stage at one time … brilliant.

  6. Haha…fear not, I picked up on the sarcasm. I was about to write something equally sarcastic about happy go lucky smiley facey Americans. But I don’t feel like getting lynched by the mob today, so I think I’ll leave it.

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