“It can get a little boring,” he said softly over coffee at the Four Seasons hotel here…
Actor Robert Patterson on fame in a June 20th New York Times fluff piece titled His Cross to Bear.
Oh, boy. Here we go again. I got a Slowly I Turned* moment first thing on a Monday morning. Longtime readers know that nothing pushes my buttons more than listening to someone complain about their success. The success that they actively pursued, by the way. It’s always some young, 20-something, clueless, dope who has an underdeveloped sense of struggle.
For instance, this Patterson shithead. So. Your popularity is a cross to bear, is it? (Ha-ha. Get it? He plays a vampire.) This morning I took the 5:35 a.m., sat in the middle of a three-seater and the weight-challenged construction workers on either side of me fell asleep and used me as a pillow. By the time I pulled into New York, my thighs were moist from their sweat. They, on the other hand, seemed refreshed. I’ll bet that never happens to people who sip coffee at the Four Seasons.
My favorite example of clueless ingratitude is from boring lite rock droner Nora Jones who was quoted as saying:
“On the first record I was everywhere, and it was, like, the worst time in my life.”
Equally boring one-note actor Michael Cera said:
“I don’t really want to be famous, and I’m kind of scared that might be happening.”
And, finally, Emily Blunt, who starred in the bomb Young Victoria said:
“It’s just never been important to me to make a big splash and I don’t care for it.”
The people who finance your projects will be happy to hear that, Emily. Don’t you want to just smack every one of them upside their empty little heads? I sure do. The last time I did one of these rants I posted an example of how it’s done. Brad Pitt is quoted as saying:
It’s so tough being an actor. Sometimes they bring you coffee and sometimes it’s cold. And sometimes you don’t have a chair to sit on.
See? Isn’t that just so much better?
* “Slowly I Turned” is the most common name associated with a popular vaudeville sketch whereby words are used as the trigger, which then sends the unbalanced person into a state of mania.
I’m actually not much of a ranter but here’s a quick bonus rant.
The Harry Potter Theme Park opened in Orlando last week. Daniel Radcliffe and Michael Gambon were on hand for the ribbon cutting. The success was beyond Universal’s wildest imaginations. The wait was SIX HOURS just to get IN! They interviewed some guests as they exited the Park and here’s my favorite quote:
Blythe Passantino, 21, followed with a tearful admission of her own: “I really wanted to live here; it was so much better than our real lives.”
Doesn’t that sound terribly childish for a 21-year old? Our real lives should be like a theme park? Parenting fail.
Good morning, everyone! Welcome to the working week!