Cleveland, my home town, is mourning the passing of ex-Clevelander Rudy Ray Moore. He played Dolemite in the 1975 blaxploitation film of the same name and its sequels, The Human Tornado in 1976, The Dolemite Explosion and the 1994 documentary The Legend of Dolemite.

In his New York Times film review, John Leland said: Dolemite remains the ‘Citizen Kane’ of kung fu pimping movies. That’s high praise, indeed! If you have a free moment and are in need of some spiritual uplift, read this obit. It’ll restore your faith.

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Speaking of pimps: I never get sick of watching Napoleon Dynamite when it plays on Comedy Central. Is that something I should be ashamed of?

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The Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Boston Red Sox and will play in the World Series. What a shame. A dull team representing a dull city. Tampa Bay: God’s waiting room.

Here’s what you can order at Wildwood Barbecue on Park Avenue and 18th St.

For real. All you need to do is call a couple of days ahead of time and cough up either $400 or $650 (depending on how big of a pig you need) and they’ll wheel this bad boy right up to your table and carve it in front of you and your horrified guests. It’s got an apple in its mouth and two cherry tomatoes in its eye sockets. You can’t see it in this pic but the tongue is hanging out of its mouth.

I was told to fast for 24 hours. Doctors orders. It actually stretched to about 36 hours but it felt like it went on forever. It just about darn near killed me, although it certainly shouldn’t have. Jews fast for Yom Kippur. Muslims fast for Ramadan. Every summer, C fasts for 10 days. She has nothing but liquids for 10 friggin’days. An untold number of people go to bed hungry every night.

I tried to think of the last time I went 36 hours without eating and realized I never have. Ever! Isn’t that astonishing?

Do you know what else I learned? I learned that I’m a big baby. Right around hour 20 I got very cranky and felt the world was a cruel and unfair place to live. What a whiner! During the lunch hour my brother called and started eating a bag of Doritos over the phone. On purpose. To be funny. I was allowed to eat Jell-O. A cup of Jell-O in midtown Manhattan costs $1.95. $2.11 with tax. Upon completion of my fast I drove at a very high rate of speed to the nearest KFC. I almost crashed through the front door. I broke my fast in finger lickin’ style. Ahhh.

Preparatory to Halloween, the fourth annual ZombieCon takes place on Saturday in Manhattan. Participants roam the streets of midtown dressed as zombies.

According to ZombieCon curator Irene Kaoru Malatesta, My all-time favorite might be zombie Charlie Brown—he carried a handmade thought bubble that said simply, ‘Grief.’

You can see some real zombies any day of the year just by taking a stroll through the Port Authority bus terminal. Zombies are cool. Who doesn’t love zombies?

This probably isn’t going to be meaningful to anyone other than myself but I’ll post it anyway.

The New York Times asked some notable New Yorkers what they’re looking forward to in the upcoming fall season. A gaggle of bold names contributed a paragraph each. Much of it was fairly ego-centric; theater people were looking forward to upcoming openings, restaurant people were anticipating the fall menu changes, museum curators were anxious for the fall exhibits to open.

The very last contribution was from composer and lyricist Charles Strouse. He didn’t mention the latest musicals, as I expected. Rather, he spoke about the city as a whole and it put a big, stupid, humiliating skip in my heart:

Autumn is the time when New York has found the perfect tempo, the perfect weather, when its people walk the streets and look up at the buildings and see the theater marquees and the millions of other people from here and everywhere and swear: this is the best, the most vibrant of cities! People of Denver: please forgive me, I’m in love!

I realize that’s a bushel of hooey but I didn’t see it coming. It was a sneak attack and it clobbered me pretty good.