The angry Americans: Part 2

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Exile on Pain Street

I promise to refrain from posting any more examples of political extremism that I stumble across (as I did here), but I wanted to take one last shot across your bow to illustrate what I see when I leave the city every night and go home to New Jersey.

We ran across this guy when we took The Daughters to the park over the weekend.

Isn’t that clever? They’ve co-opted the logo from the President’s campaign and are using it to insult him. What are the odds that you could sit down with this guy and have a rational conversation about healthcare or financial reform? Here’s who he’d like to see in the White House:

The illustration between “Palin” and “2012” is a cartoon of a pit bull. Because that’s what this country needs. More ignorant babbling from this polarizing idiot. She quit her Governorship on a holiday weekend because she thought it wouldn’t attract as much media attention. Her resignation speech is a classic.

If her popularity (and the anger) increases, it might benefit the Democrats in the short term, but it’s going to be bad for my country in the long run. So, if your sympathies tend to skew more towards the Democratic party, please spare me any gloating because if this good ship continues to sink, you’re going down with it.

What I’d take you to see if you came to NYC

Posted on April 23, 2010 by Exile on Pain Street

I just came out of one of the finest plays I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen quite a few. Some beautiful geniuses in London took the most unlikely, dry subject and turned it into a compelling evening. Someone had the questionable idea to write a play about the rise and collapse of Enron. Well, it’s a masterpiece. One for the ages. Fetching to watch, expertly acted, deeply interesting and relevant for today.

Declaring something as the “best” is, of course, purely subjective. But, for me, this show came along at the exact right moment. I am down on the investment banking industry I spent my career in and have worked with people who were similar to the sociopaths portrayed in this play. But even if you care not a whit about finance or Wall Street shenanigans, Enron is worth seeing because it’s a visual feast and a master class in drama and humor. (Yes, it’s very funny.)

It helps that I did some homework beforehand. It always does. My head is an empty vessel that needs to be filled. Anytime I see a Shakespeare play, I jam the Cliff Notes version the week of the show. Likewise, for Enron, I recently saw the documentary Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room and it enhanced my experience. The more you carry into a theater, the more you take away.

The dry business of mark-to-market investing is made palpable by actors dressed as three blind mice, red-eyed raptors, neon lightsaber-wielding Jedis, a barber shop quartet (they’re from a rating agency!) and two Lehman Brothers employees who are hysterically portrayed as in-lockstep Siamese twins who speak in high-pitch sing-songy voices. It’s surreal. The stage design is smart and the use of multimedia is brilliant. Initially, I panicked at its 2:30 length but I’d gladly sit through it again. Perhaps I will.

Jason, I’m going to have to insist that you watch The Smartest Guys in the Room and then try to beg, borrow or steal a ticket to this show. It’s an unforgettable evening. You should consider yourself lucky that it’s within your geographic reach.

All I wanted to do was take the A train

Posted on April 22, 2010 by Exile on Pain Street

I was walking through the tunnel that runs under 42nd Street trying to get to the A train when I stumbled across this guy.

I’m not a believer so I’m pretty sure that qualifies me as being “wicked,” which means that eventually I’ll be “turned into hell.” There are lots of folks like this in the city. People who want you to know that unless you walk the same path they do, you’ll be damned to hell. 98% of the time I don’t care what they have to say. They don’t mean anything to me. But if I’m having a 2% day, it can get under my skin. Don’t judge me. You fuckhead.

* * *

I’m doing some consulting work at an investment bank. I stepped into the men’s room, closed the stall door and sat down. This was stuck to the door. It’s at eye level when you’re sitting.

Or worse? What do you mean? Like, your careless habits can result in someone’s death? And I like the accusatory, guilt-ridden “you know who you are…” I can’t put my thumb on it but this note has a certain charm to it.

What I learned while unemployed

Posted on April 20, 2010 by Exile on Pain Street

I lost my job at J.P. Morgan back in December, which was a blessing in disguise if ever there was one. Since that time, I’ve worked a series of consulting/freelance projects and have, by and large, remained gainfully employed. Mrs. Wife and I have always made a point to live below our means, so money hasn’t been a huge problem. Mrs. Wife, to her credit, doesn’t give a shit about material things. We don’t need much to get by.

I seem to be on the threshold of a job offer. I’m probably speaking too soon but even if this one doesn’t work out, the economy is on the mend and I suspect a hire offer isn’t that far into my future. Until then, there seems to be plenty of freelance work floating around.

This has caused me to reflect on the time between projects when I didn’t have work. I’ve had two or three week periods where nothing much was happening. I, as I’m sure all of you, have always suspected that not working would be a pretty sweet deal. I like what I do for a living and I don’t mind working. But what I didn’t realize, and now know, is that not working is FUCKING AWESOME to the 10th power, especially if you have New York at your doorstep.

I know lots and lots of stay-at-home mothers who insist that raising kids is a full time job and that they are, de facto, “working.” I respect that. I prefer Mrs. Wife stay home and take care of The Daughters. I believe they’re happier for it. Raising kids is a lot of hard work but, I’m sorry, it’s way more satisfying than the grind of commuting 2x per day, sitting at the same desk under the same florescent lights, Monday through Friday and being surrounded by people who, by and large, you wouldn’t choose to associate with. Not working is the BEST. But the pay is terrible.

Here are some things I learned while unemployed.

I learned that if you visit any of the art museums in Manhattan during the week and get there just as they’re opening, you can have the whole place to yourself. Especially the Met. The Met is so vast that it disperses the crowd pretty well. The galleries are gloriously empty and you don’t have people walking in front of you while you’re studying a painting. Same goes for the art galleries in Chelsea.
I learned that during the day, the gym is empty. Nobody postures and preens. Nobody is texting or cruising for tail. All the equipment is available. Get in, do your thing and get out.
I learned that sleeping in is overrated.
I learned that there’s an entire subculture in New York City of people who don’t work and don’t seem to have money problems. Central Park is full of people out enjoying themselves in the midday sun and I’m not counting the tourists. You can tell the visitors from the locals. I don’t know how they do it! Who are these people who are able to jog around the reservoir at 3:00 in the afternoon?
I learned how to paint the interior of a house. I never knew! Seriously! The painting is a drag but the end results are pretty satisfying.
I learned that having breakfast with 3-Year Old Daughter and being home when 8-Year Old Daughter gets home from school to help with her homework is a worthwhile expenditure of my time.

Leave Britney alone!

Posted on April 19, 2010 by Exile on Pain Street

I haven’t done a theater post in quite a while. It’s not because I’ve stopped attending. Far from it. We’re in the heat of the spring season and I think I’ve got about five under my belt that I’ve not written about and I’m seeing two more this week. I got the notion in my head that, frankly, the theater posts aren’t that interesting to most people. And that’s fine. I get that.

Where it all goes horribly wrong is when I lie in bed at night and, instead of sleeping, stare at the ceiling and start to imagine that if I do one more post about the theater, I’ll lose all my readers. Isn’t that crazy?! But admit it; when you’re in bed and on the threshold of sleep, you think a lot of crazy thoughts, too. Right?

Well, I decided that to hell with all of you! I’m going to continue doing my theater posts and if you don’t like it, well, you can just…I don’t know what but I’m going to do them anyway.

(If you thought that was sad and crazy, you should see what’s going on inside my head that I’m not revealing to you.)

* * *

RED is Dr. Octopus—oh, excuse me—I mean Alfred Molina as egomaniac artist (is there any other kind?) Mark Rothko. I loved it but I think it’s got very limited appeal. It makes you feel all smart and brainy if you’ve heard of the artists mentioned. They talk a lot about influences and the arc of contemporary art history. Do you like that stuff? Then go. You’ll love it. Molina really is in top form. The play was a big hit at the Donmar Warehouse in London and Eddie Redmayne, who plays Rothko’s studio assistant, won all sort of well-deserved awards. They might give him one here in New York, too. All the critics love him in New York. But be warned, it’s pretty chatty.

Best moment? The two prepare a huge canvas with a base coat of paint. They blast some classical music and have worked out an intricate dance whereby Molina paints the top half of the canvas while Redmayne prepares the bottom. It’s interesting from the standpoint that I’ve never seen a canvas prepared, but aside from that, it’s just a ton of fun to watch. It’s fast and live and real-time, and that’s what the theater has over movies.