I wish you knew H or had someone like her in your life. She radiates joy and has good wishes for you. She’d dip everyone in a big vat of warm hugs if she could. Pretty much the antithesis of me.

Two important things happened to H. First, she just graduated from NYU’s nursing program. She left a career as an account exec at Brand This! because it was cold and lacked soul. She entered an accelerated program two years ago and just finished with honors. NYU is a tough school so that’s not an easy thing to accomplish.

Second, H turned 40. She decided that these two events weren’t going to pass uncelebrated, so she threw herself a fete on Saturday night. Mrs. Wife and I drove through a biblical rainstorm to be there. She bought out the private room at The Havana Room on E. 76th St. Miss H is a damn fine singer, so she had a few very talented hired guns play and she was the entertainment. People were encouraged to take a turn on stage. In her typical unselfish way, she didn’t want it to be just the H show. Her open bar policy led to a general lack of inhibitions and there were many fantasies fulfilled that night. Deep down, who doesn’t want to be on stage in front of a live, loud band?

Miss H and her friend, also a lovely singer, sang a duet, which led to my favorite bit of stage patter:

“This is my friend, Z. Years ago we took tae kwon do lessons together and we’ve just graduated together. So we can kick your ass, but then we’ll bandage you. And sing to you.”

And she fed us, too. Congrats, H. And thanks.

A shocking article on the front page of today’s New York Times reveals that Gay Couples Find Marriage Is a Mixed Bag. You have GOT to be friggin’ KIDDING ME! Those blabbermouths at the Times! Okay, you caught us. We in the heterosexual community have conspired to keep this small but important detail regarding marriage from gay couples. Guess what? Marriage is a shitload of work. Here’s my favorite quote from the article by Jacob Venter, a 44-year-old child psychiatrist who recently married:

“Nothing turns out the way you imagine…”

Dear Gay Community: Please refrain from revealing your charming, innocent, cluelessness all over the front page of my Sunday paper. You caused me to do a spit-take with my coffee.

Just a reminder that the Tony Awards are on tomorrow night. What’s that? Not the least bit interested? Well, that’s understandable, but not to worry. Just click over to BBC America and instead of watching a dreary award show featuring a bunch of plays you’ll never see, you can see a fascinating documentary called Britain’s Worst Teeth.

Britain’s Worst Teeth follows four twenty-somethings with some of the worst teeth in Britain. Their teeth are so bad they affect every aspect of their lives. They are in pain and are embarrassed to go out. They find eating and speaking difficult, and not surprisingly, they find it difficult to attract partners.

Not surprisingly, indeed! On second thought, maybe the Tonys aren’t so bad after all.

Someone gave me a pair of tickets to the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss concert last night. For free! What a score! Unfortunately, I later found out I that couldn’t go and had to pass them on to someone else. Boy, were they happy! I had to race home after work because Mrs. Wife needed to attend a P.T.A. meeting and I had to put the kiddies to bed.

I just deleted a paragraph that was a shrill screed about how the suburbs will suck all the fun out of your life if you allow it to happen. I swore that my irritation had nothing whatsoever to do with not being able to attend the concert. Not going was, in fact, a metaphor for Much Bigger Issues. Then I reread my screed, turned to face myself and had to admit that I was just whining like a little bitch because I couldn’t go to the concert. Do you ever do that? Catch yourself being stupid? So embarrassing.

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Wm. Shakespeare