Someone pinch me so I know I’m awake.

Let’s pause a moment to reflect on those two fine stewards of the Republican Party: George Bush and Dick Cheney. Those fellas have left the GOP decimated. Do you know how many post-election Republican Congressmen there are in the Northeast United States? NIL. Zero. Nyet. They’ve all been run out of office, including, unfortunately, the moderates.

I’m a centrist. I don’t like the idea of a one-party system. Bill Clinton had a successful Presidency because after he came into office, he gravitated towards the center and co-opted some planks from the Republican platform. Yesterday, I voted for the Republican candidate for New Jersey Senator because I felt he was a stronger candidate. All that’s left in office for the GOP are the hardcore lunatic fringe—the very people who caused a mass exodus to the Democrats.

Thanks, George. Thanks, Dick. Don’t let the door of history hit you in the ass on your way out of town.

About three weeks ago I did a post about my credit card being stolen out of my gym locker and how afterwards I identified the thief in an NYPD lineup [this post]. The odd twist was that the thief, it turned out, was a foot soldier in the Albanian mob! Ha ha! The Albanian mob! How ridiculous! That’s a good one.

I, like most bloggers, like to keep track of the visitors to my site. Last night, my tracking software indicated that I had a visitor from Montenegro. That visitor found my blog by entering the following search phrase into Google:

credit card thieves in nyc gyms

Should I be concerned about this? Why would someone from that part of the planet need to find information about credit cards stolen out of gym lockers a half a world away? Gulp.

My mom isn’t very mobile these days but she has always been politically active so I asked her if she was going to be able to get out and vote tomorrow. She’s in Ohio, which is a powerful swing state, so her vote is more influential than mine. Apparently, she has already voted via absentee ballot, clever girl that she is.

I asked her who she cast her vote for and she said Barak Obama, mainly because she couldn’t stand the thought of a Vice President, possibly President, Palin. I asked her if she ever thought she’d see the day when a black man stood on the threshold of becoming President. She said that she’s been through this before. Many years ago, according to her, people were convinced they’d NEVER see a Catholic President. Along came JFK and the impossible happened. Let’s all hope that Obama is elected and that the historical similarities end there.

According to a CNN poll released today, 5% of Americans are still undecided. How can anyone still be undecided?! After two years of intense campaigning by both parties, how can you still not know who you’re going to vote for? What a bunch of liars. Of course, they’ve decided. If you’re truly undecided, you haven’t been paying attention. And that’s the most charitable thing I can say about you.

Quick, name this company:

and this one:

and this one:

I’ve spent my entire career in corporate meat-n’-potatoes graphic design. It is the wet dream of every company to develop a logo that it so beautiful in its simplicity, and so impressionable, that it becomes steeped in the public subconscious. None of the above examples contain the name of the company and yet, because they have become part of Western culture, you know which company they represent. Do you know how hard that is to achieve? Do you know how many logos dare tonot include the company name?Very few. Typically, it takes years of market saturation to make a glyph mean something more than just a glyph.

I woke up with flu-like symptoms. I refuse to call it a flu because Mrs. Wife was after me to get a flu shot and I never do. I’m anti-flu shot. So if I now have the flu, where will that leave me and my philosophy? Everything in me has been laid to waste. My head, muscles, stomach. I feel like I’ve been split open and turned inside out.

It was so beautiful out that Mrs. Wife took the girls down to the shore for a walk on the boardwalk in the sunshine. I decided to tag along. I believe that the salty sea air has medicinal qualities. Of course, as soon as we got there I felt even sicker, so after taking the daughters through a hay-bale maze that someone set up for Halloween, I sat on a bench facing the ocean. They went for a walk and I slowly, like a falling baby sequoia, laid down on the bench and dozed. Mrs. Wife came back and was clearly embarrassed. She said I looked like a bum sleeping off a bender. Harrumph.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday. (Perhaps this is where I got my flu illness?) My doctor, a highly-paid specialist who lives in one of the wealthiest communities in this area, and his assistant were both lamenting the fact that New Jersey is leaning towards Obama. Dr. said that if Obama wins, he’s going to have to install parking meters in the lot to enhance his revenue. Assistant was particularly venomous and spat out, Barak Obama isn’t even a real American!

This country does not have a capacity to heal itself. I’m no better. I’d have the same black bile for Sarah Palin. Does anyone know how this happened?