anniversary + more cell phone jammer shenanigans

Today is the 1st Anniversary of this idiot blog. I envy people who are so emotionally evolved that they never look back and have no regrets. Well, that ain’t me, pallies. I can think of, quite literally, DOZENS of things over the past 12 months that I wish I had done differently. But I am glad I began this blog. So there’s that.

A tip o’ the hat to Bobzyeruncle, me blogfather.

* * *

Best rationale ever from a cell phone jamming victim:

I think those Verizon employees who follow me around must have all died because my phone keeps… hello… HELLO?

network

 

i had blood on my hands

I took 2.5-Year Old Daughter to a local working farm. It’s owned by the county and is run as a “period piece” from the 1890s. The volunteers all wear clothing from that era and use vintage farm tools to work the land. No electricity! Or iPods! It’s meant to be educational but all I could think of was how horrible life must have been in the 1890s. What a cynic. God bless the 21st Century.

We (ho-hum) saw some sheep…

farm+1

…and hens.

farm+3

We walked up to the horse barn and saw a cute little kitty cat sitting outside. I reached down and gave him a little scratch under his chin. He got that eyes-half-closed look of ecstasy that cats get when they’re being scratched and leaned into my hand for more.

Then he sneezed and sprayed blood all over the back of my hand. Here’s a pic of the hay with some blood splashed on it.

 

hay+2

I almost wretched. Proof positive that the city is the place for me.

* * *
Father and daughter share a tender moment:
2.5 Year-Old Daughter: What’s that sound?
Me: Daddy had gas.
2.5 Year-Old Daughter: Daddy, you gas is beautiful.
Me: Yes, I know that.

lowlights from the friday new york times fine arts/leisure section

A Chinese director is preparing an operatic adaptatoin of “Das Kapital” by Karl Marx…1

No, thank you.

Nicholas Cage as an astrophysicist…2

Pass.

…a sequence in which he cuts back and forth between a woman giving birth and a soldier having a limb hacked off…3

Ugh! Hell no!

On a Swedish commuter train she broke into a fearsome improvised dance for an audicence of startled fellow passengers.4

Snigger. Pass.

Interest blooms into camaraderie when the men discover a mutual love of the band Rush…5

Voilà! Finally! Jackpot!

1 From the Arts, Briefly column
2 Film review: Knowing
3 Film review: The Edge of Love
4 Art review: Projects 89: Klara Linden at MoMA
5 Film review: I Love You, Man

got art?

The always charming Annie posted a piece of original art that’s hanging on her wall and wondered who else hung original art. (Children’s art doesn’t count. Hanging that is obligatory.) Here are a few pieces in my home. None of them have a stylistic relationship. It’s a hodgepodge.

I received this oil on canvas from Artisté Florenza as a birthday present. This was an Asian food store near my apartment where I lived in Brooklyn. It was called, I kid you not, the FU KING FOOD SHOP on Atlantic Avenue. You can’t make this stuff up. The store next to it is the fictitious Mr. Mark’s Cleaners (that’s me) and the signs in the window read Happy Birthday Mark. The address is 28. It was my 28th birthday and that was a long, long time ago. That’s my shadow darkening the lower left corner, not the painting.

art+1

I bought this for myself in Union Square, NYC. It’s Japanese gouache and ink mounted on silk. Mrs. wife isn’t that crazy about it but she lets me hang it because, as you well know, marriage is a give-and-take.

art+2

My artist friend Jeff Suntala gave this to us as a wedding gift. It’s a charcoal sketch from one of his classes. The colors are more vibrant than what appears here but I was too lazy to take it off the wall to photograph in better lighting. Sorry, Jeff.

art+3

This is a triptych that I took of 7-Year Old Daughter when she was a baby pulling herself up on our coffee table.

art+4

 

i love the NEW YORK POST

post

How do you like them apples?

For sheer venom and shock, you can’t beat the UK tabloid headlines. The U.S. rags can’t hold a candle to the them. But once in a while, our New York Post can deliver a real haymaker.

The above delicious example from yesterday’s paper was in response to the bonuses paid to AIG executives with taxpayer money. The entire populous is up in arms. Bless the New York Post for putting our feelings into one pithy sentence.