I had to delete one of my entries from January. I posted a rant about the Clique Girls—a 3-girl singing group marketed to the pre-teen set. I felt there was an inappropriate amount of sexuality used to pimp the group. The lead singer is only 12 years old and in the print promos she is always posed provocatively with a come-hither look.

The title of my post was:

“child p*rn courtesy of interscope records”

Since then, I’ve been getting hits from all over the plant by people using “child p*rn” as a search phrase. It made me feel dirty so I took the post down. What the hell is wrong with humanity? How did something like this work its way into the gene pool?

Does this photo conjure up any memories for you?

Of course, I don’t mean this sign specifically but, do you have a diner in your life? A place to eat eggs and sip coffee with friends or family? Sitting alone with a newspaper is best of all. You can really scour your soul when you’re alone in a diner. I like sitting at the counter. You get the best service at the counter because you’re right in their face.

Overheard at the local playground by a yuppie mommy (with WAAAAYYY too much enthusiasm and wild applause):

GOOD SLIDING, JAKE!!! GOOD JOB!!!

Oh, for Pete’s sake. All that kid did was obey the laws of gravity. Must we compliment our children for their every little triumph? Wait until Jake finds out that the world isn’t all that impressed with his accomplishments.

Winter gave the East Coast of the United States its great big final “F.U.!” of the season. Many inches of snow lead to school cancellations, a LOT of shoveling and a trip to a nearby hill to ride sleds.

Do you know how you can tell you’re an adult? Snow isn’t fun anymore. It’s a pain in the ass. I simply cannot understand why anyone would want to go skiing. Supposedly, there’s some really great skiing not too far from here, but the best skiing weather also happens to be the worst driving weather. If you have some disposable income allocated for a vacation, why wouldn’t you go someplace that has turquoise water (instead of frozen)?

Damon Runyon was an American fiction writer who wrote short stories about New York City in the 1920’s and 1930’s. His style of writing employs the New York City Wise Guy vernacular of that era. His street smart characters were the inspiration for the musical Guys and Dolls starring Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando.

Since we here in the U.S. are slipping into a new depression (Canada is laughing their asses off at us) the New York Times thought it might be interesting to revisit Runyon’s world, since the depression figured prominently in many of his stories.

I had not read any of Runyon’s stories in a long, long time and I forgot how beautiful and rich the language is. He’s Dashiell Hammett with a sense of humor. His prose drips with atmosphere. Do you know how if you hear a riff by Keith Richards or The Edge, you know instantly it’s them? After you read a few of Runyon’s tales, you’ll be able to identify him within three sentences. The Times printed several wonderful examples of Runyon’s New York on the ropes. (A Runyonesque phrase if ever there was one!) Here’s my favorite:

There is very little scratch anywhere and along Broadway many citizens are wearing their last year’s clothes and have practically nothing to bet on the races or anything else, and it is a condition that will touch anybody’s heart.

He describes a winter day as being, …colder than a blonde’s heart. God, I wish I could write like that. He even looked the part:

Fun fact: Runyon was born in Manhattan. Manhattan, Kansas!