The Old Ball Game

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mtc_bbb2I saw a great play last night with CB. He liked it too, which counts for plenty because his standards are a lot tougher than mine. It was a drama with lots of yucks about baseball during the steroid era called Back Back Back.

The two principal actors were stand-ins for José Canseco and Mark McGwire. CB isn’t a baseball fan and initially I was concerned that he wouldn’t find the story very compelling, but there was nothing worry about. The acting is so good that you are pulled in whether you’re a baseball fan or not. The play ends with the Canseco/McGwire doppelgängers getting ready for their Congressional hearings and you really do feel the weight of what they did to baseball and each other. You never hear the word “steroid” spoken. Great plays like this make up for dogs I occasionally sit through.

The play was presented by the Manhattan Theater Club and I’m very happy that this is such a strong show. (Although, it’s still in previews. For all I know, the critics could trash it when it opens, but I can’t imagine that happening.) They’ve opened two other plays this season that were both panned by the critics, so they need a hit. Producing plays must be nerve wracking. All those weeks (months?) of rehearsal and preparation and all it takes it a handful of bad reviews on opening night and that’s it. You’re through. Pow. Right in the kisser.

* * *

The play was in midtown and before it started I sat outside for a while across the street from Radio City Music Hall on the ledge of a fountain. It was so freakishly balmy out that I could sit comfortably without a jacket on.

I watched the tourists and traffic flow up 6th Avenue. Radio City is an art deco masterpiece and it’s already all lit up for Christmas. A crowd was pouring in for the evening performance of the annual Christmas Spectacular.

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The out-of-towners were having their picture taken with Radio City as a backdrop and I obliged three different families who handed me a camera and asked me to take a photo for them. Everyone was so happy and excited to be in New York that I got all stupid and gooey inside. What a punk.

Does This Sound Like a Satisfying Evening to You?

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Currently at the SoHo Rep, you can pay $65 per ticket to sit through a drama where following events are acted out on stage:

A scene opens with a woman in a fetal position on a bed. She unfolds her body to reveal blood between her legs, the result of a bite from her menacing lover.

A man violently rapes another man while holding a revolver to his head.

After the rape, he sucks out his eyeballs and eats them.

The play is Blasted by Sarah Kane, a British playwright who, at 23, committed suicide. With all that darkness rattling around inside her head, it’s no shock that she met with an untimely end.

Surprisingly, (or, perhaps not) the entire run is sold out. There is a nightly queue for cancellations. People are clamoring for tickets. I wouldn’t go for free. I can certainly handle heavy drama. That’s not the issue. But no matter how compelling the plot is, I can’t help thinking that the violence depicted is just as gratuitous as that in Saw or any of the other torture porn films. It’s not for me.

Critics and audiences are hailing the dramatic and courageous performances of the three actors involved. The lead actress said that the preparations, “messed with my head.” Yea, no kidding. I think all the posturing by critics is load of horseshit. They’re just voyeurs, whether they want to admit it to themselves or not.

As Randy Newman sang in A Few Words in Defense of Our Country:

But wait, here’s one, the Spanish Inquisition
They put people in a terrible position
I don’t even like to think about it

Well, sometimes I like to think about it

Is Charlize Theron the Dumbest Woman on Earth?

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theron_watc_fr-thumb-450x9061How far out of touch with reality can one Hollywood starlet be?

Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil paid Ms. Theron a reported $20 million to shill be their spokeswoman and wear their watches exclusively.

Here on planet earth, that’s an extraordinary amount of money to do nothing. And by “nothing,” I’m not speaking in metaphor or allegory. All she had to do was pose for some pictures and wear a stupid wristwatch when she went out at night. What could be easier? Well, guess what? She couldn’t do it. She was photographed at a film festival wearing a Dior wristwatch, was sued, and a judge ordered her to give all that money back. A contract is a contract!
What happened? Did she forget? Not care? How arrogant. How dreary.
* * *
I hit a triple on my train home last night. I knocked out three—count ‘em—three cell phone calls at one time when I activated my cell phone jammer. I’ve hit hundreds of singles, a handful of doubles, but this was my first triple.
It never gets old.
* * *
The U.S. Presidents from 1776 to present.
yeswedid

 

Good Morning, America. How Are Ya?

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Someone pinch me so I know I’m awake.

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Let’s pause a moment to reflect on those two fine stewards of the Republican Party: George Bush and Dick Cheney. Those fellas have left the GOP decimated. Do you know how many post-election Republican Congressmen there are in the Northeast United States? NIL. Zero. Nyet. They’ve all been run out of office, including, unfortunately, the moderates.

I’m a centrist. I don’t like the idea of a one-party system. Bill Clinton had a successful Presidency because after he came into office, he gravitated towards the center and co-opted some planks from the Republican platform. Yesterday, I voted for the Republican candidate for New Jersey Senator because I felt he was a stronger candidate. All that’s left in office for the GOP are the hardcore lunatic fringe—the very people who caused a mass exodus to the Democrats.

Thanks, George. Thanks, Dick. Don’t let the door of history hit you in the ass on your way out of town.

What, Me Worry?

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About three weeks ago I did a post about my credit card being stolen out of my gym locker and how afterwards I identified the thief in an NYPD lineup [this post]. The odd twist was that the thief, it turned out, was a foot soldier in the Albanian mob! Ha ha! The Albanian mob! How ridiculous! That’s a good one.

I, like most bloggers, like to keep track of the visitors to my site. Last night, my tracking software indicated that I had a visitor from Montenegro. That visitor found my blog by entering the following search phrase into Google:

credit card thieves in nyc gyms

Should I be concerned about this? Why would someone from that part of the planet need to find information about credit cards stolen out of gym lockers a half a world away? Gulp.