Daughter in a Maelstrom

Posted on September 16, 2009 by Exile on Pain Street

On a summer day/evening, the best view in town is from the roof garden of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. You can look over the tree canopy of Central Park to the west, some of the most expensive real estate on the planet along 5th Avenue to the east and the Manhattan skyline to the south. It’s a pretty site.

As if that weren’t enough, every summer, the Met hosts a spectacular sculpture exhibit. Last year is was a set of playful sculptures by Jeff Koons.

I took daughter to the roof for this year’s exhibit, the appropriately named Maelstrom by Roxy Paine. It’s a series of polished metal tree branches that twist and snake over the expanse of the roof.

I wondered what the perception was for someone half my size. I watched her walk around the perimeter of the sculpture and then inside and it really did seem to consume her.

The exhibit runs through late November, so if you’re going to be in town or are just a subway ride away (Jason/Leah) it’s worth the trip. Just don’t go on Friday night. It’s packed with after-work office drones who just want to drink and hook up. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but it tends to spoil the experience. I’m not sure the Friday night crowd cares about the art so much. They seem distracted.

Here’s a very cool video of the installation.

Two ladies

Posted on September 15, 2009 by Exile on Pain Street

Did you happen to see the covers of last month’s Vanity Fair? It was two black and white photos of Farrah and Michael in the exact same pose. It’s an interesting juxtaposition.

It was clever and weird and a little sad. I’m sure they each had their pictures taken thousands of times and since there are a finite number of poses you can strike, it stands to reason that you can find two similar pics of these two. Vanity Fair should have gone for the trifecta and dug out a black and white glam shot of Ed McMahon with his arms crossed.

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Keyword activity used for a recent hit on my blog:

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I can assure you that I have NO information about that! You’ll not find ANY medical advice on my blog that concerns the ingestion of any bodily fluids.

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I’m having some personnel problems at A Company Called Malice, Inc. I need some money. I need a LOT of money. I need so much money, that I don’t ever have to go into work again. How do I do that?

HAMMERTIME! redux

Posted on September 13, 2009 by Exile on Pain Street

I thought that New York City had the most fashion forward women on the planet. So what the hell is this?

I was walking behind her down 41st Street just off 7th Avenue. (Fashion Avenue.) You know what these are, don’t you? These are a pair of clown pants.

Oh, excuse me. I mean MC Hammer pants.

Are these back? Do you know what, ladies? They looked silly in 1990 and the passage of time has not improved them.

The older I get the more I realize that nothing in the fashion industry is all that revolutionary. They just recycle whatever was popular from the previous generation. The width of neckties and jacket lapels expand and contract on a scheduled basis.

Which brings us to this.

[CB, you might want to bail out at this point.]

Bryant Park…my park where I spend my mornings…has been closed off and invaded by the fashion glamoratti. It’s fashion week here in New York. It’s an important industry that pumps loads of cash into the city coffers but, personally, I don’t understand high fashion one bit. It’s an industry that preys on the vain and the insecure. If you need to spend $1,400 on a pair of shoes, you’ve probably got some self-esteem issues you need to address. You should take that money and spend it on a proper therapist.

I want my park back.

It’s Friday, I’m in love.

Posted on September 11, 2009 by Exile on Pain Street

A happy 10th anniversary, Mrs. Wife. 10 years is pretty good, don’t you think? A lot of couples don’t make it this far. But we did. And it was fun, too! Well, most of it. The whole childbirth episode was pretty upsetting, if you don’t mind my saying so. We’re a long ways away from good ole’ Avenue B and Houston.

We were together for a bit over 2 years prior to getting hitched so do you think I could backdate our anniversary and say we’ve been together for a dozen years? I’ve been living the life of a married man for that amount of time so I’d like the credit for it.

Tonight we will abandon our children to the in-laws and stay at The Chateau Inn in Spring Lake, New Jersey, and dine at Vivas in scenic Belmar.

I will have the same conversation I always have with you when we find ourselves in these circumstances: How did we get so lucky? More importantly, can you imagine anyone else putting up with our shared neurosis? :10 minutes early is :10 minutes late.

That was pretty easy. How about it? Are you up for another 10?

Insult + injury

Posted on September 10, 2009 by Exile on Pain Street

Let’s say you saved up all your paper route money and bought yourself a big, dumb American muscle car. And just after your first inflated insurance payment, someone smacks into the rear bumper and puts a ding in it when you’re not around.